5 Things Coaches Should Know About Teen Anxiety
Featured expert: Jon Hershfield
Teen athletes are asked to do a lot. They practice hard, compete under pressure, manage school and social expectations, and often feel that their performance says something important about who they are.
So if a young athlete feels nervous before a game, tense before a tryout, or stuck replaying a mistake, that doesn’t mean something is wrong with them. Anxiety is part of being human. It’s also part of competing.
For coaches, the goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety. The goal is to help athletes notice anxiety, understand it, and respond in ways that keep them engaged in the moment. Sports offer a powerful place to practice that skill, because athletes get repeated chances to face pressure, recover from mistakes, and keep going.
1. Some anxiety is healthy and normal
Feeling nervous before a game, tryout, or big competition isn’t unusual. In fact, some anxiety can sharpen focus. It can tell an athlete, “This matters to me.”
Coaches can help by normalizing pre-game nerves and shifting the focus away from “How do I get rid of this feeling?” and toward “How do I compete while this feeling is here?”
Try saying:
- “It’s okay to be nervous.”
- “This means the moment matters.”
- “Most athletes feel this way before something important.”
Avoid saying:
- “Don’t be nervous.”
- “Just relax.”
Why it matters: </n\b>Anxiety itself isn’t always the problem. The bigger issue is how an athlete responds to anxiety when it shows up.
2. Adolescence is the right time to build regulation skills
Teen years are full of emotional intensity. That can be challenging, but it also makes adolescence an ideal time to learn emotional regulation. Athletics give young people regular practice with pressure, frustration, disappointment, and recovery.
When coaches teach athletes how to pause, breathe, refocus, and return to the next play, they are teaching more than sports performance. They are teaching a life skill.
Skills young athletes can practice include:
- Deep, controlled breathing
- Positive and realistic self-talk
- Grounding techniques
- Refocusing on the next play
Why it matters: Coaching emotional recovery is just as important as coaching physical recovery.
3. Avoidance makes anxiety harder to manage
Anxiety often asks for avoidance: Skip the tryout. Sit out the drill. Avoid the competition. Pass on leadership. Quit after a mistake.
Avoidance may lower anxiety in the short term, but it often makes anxiety stronger over time. The athlete learns, “I can only feel okay if I stay away from the hard thing.” Confidence develops when they discover they can feel anxious and still take the next step.
That does not mean pushing a teen athlete into situations they are not ready for. It means helping them approach challenges gradually, with support, clarity, and a focus on effort rather than perfection.
Try saying:
- “You can do hard things.”
- “Courage first, confidence second.”
- “Let’s focus on the next step, not the whole mountain.”
Why it matters: Confidence grows from facing challenges, not avoiding them.
4. Self-compassion is not softness
Many athletes believe they have to be harsh with themselves to get better. But constant self-criticism can increase anxiety and make it harder to recover after a mistake.
Self-compassion is not letting yourself off the hook. It is staying engaged without adding shame to the moment. A coach can help an athlete move from judgment to curiosity.
Instead of: “I’m terrible.” Try: “What can I learn from this?”
That small shift matters. Athletes perform better when they can recover, adapt, and keep moving forward.
Why it matters: The goal is not to protect athletes from mistakes. The goal is to help them respond to mistakes in ways that build resilience.
5. Mindfulness keeps athletes present
Anxiety is often about time travel. It pulls attention into the future: What if I miss? What if I let everyone down? What if I cannot handle this? It can also drag attention into the past: Why did I make that mistake?
Mindfulness helps athletes come back to what is happening now. It doesn’t require them to clear their minds or feel calm on command. It asks them to notice what is happening, name it, and return attention to the next useful action.
Simple mindfulness skills include:
- Paced breathing
- Brief body scans
- Grounding through the senses
- Focusing on the next play instead of the last mistake or next outcome
Why it matters: Staying present can support both athletic performance and emotional well-being.
When should a coach encourage more support?
Coaches play an important role, but they aren’t expected to be therapists. Encourage a parent, caregiver, school counselor, athletic trainer, or mental health professional to get involved if anxiety is interfering with daily life, school, relationships, sleep, or a young athlete’s ability to participate in things they value.
Most of all, remember that anxiety doesn’t have to be treated like an enemy. It can be understood as a signal, and athletes can learn to respond to that signal with skill. With steady support, young athletes can practice the same thing they practice in sports every day: showing up, making adjustments, and taking the next play.