Staying sober this holiday season

Even under the best of circumstances, the holidays can be a stressful time. From packed calendars to shopping to family time, there are lots of stressors people face.

For those in recovery, the holidays can present unique challenges—especially when it comes to staying sober. We sat down with Sheppard Pratt substance use counselors Paige Romoser and Rose Wible to discuss.

I’m attending a holiday party. What should I do?

“The expectation to celebrate during the holidays can be challenging; there are high emotions, which can be tough, especially for those who are newly sober,” says Wible. 

“I recommend having a plan,” shares Romoser. 

“Is there a quiet place you can sit for a little while? Someone you can call? Or can you just leave?”

Wible recommends documenting your plan. “Write it down and let others know,” she says. “Have a safe circle of people you’re comfortable talking to.”

Know a situation will be challenging? It’s OK to say no. 

What about staying sober in stressful situations?

Wible recommends starting by establishing your boundaries (see page 15 for more on boundaries). Then, know your limits and walk away if you need to. 

If you’re having a conversation that has turned tense, Romoser suggests changing the subject. “Try saying, ‘I’m not comfortable discussing that. Can we change the subject?’”

Having coping skills at the ready is critical. Wible recommends regularly engaging in healthy behaviors. Eating a variety of healthy foods, getting enough sleep, and exercising are all habits that can lessen your overall stress and set you up for success.

Is there anything I can do to prevent relapse during the holidays?

Both Romoser and Wible emphasize attending meetings during the holiday season. Many 12-step groups hold ‘marathon meetings’ during the holidays to be a safe space. 

“The holidays are a difficult time, especially for those in recovery,” shares Romoser. “That’s why meetings are available 24/7 during this time frame. Extra support is a great thing. Can you reach out to your sponsor more frequently? Maybe you set up an extra session with your therapist as well.”

Wible also recommends keeping yourself busy—in healthy ways. “Get out there and volunteer. Helping someone else can be so helpful to you, too.”

At the end of the day, “you’ve got to put yourself first,” says Wible. “If something puts you at risk of relapsing—don’t go. If being around someone is going to negatively impact your health—stay away. As we say in substance use treatment, ‘the only thing you have to change is everything.’”